Taking Stock

In three short weeks, I will be turning 30. This is not traumatizing to me. It wasn't even a shocking thing. Until a few weeks ago. 30 is mature. Or something. Something that isn't me. So I was starting to get a bit sentimental and resistant to turning thirty. Then the other day I read an article about turning thirty. Written by someone who was in their mid-twenties. In typical fashion, the wisdom contained therein has passed me by and all I really remember about the article is the point that at 30, people take stock. 

Taking stock is one of my favorite things to do in that self-centered, lets think about me and write a LIST about me! way. So I actually do this quite often. At least once a month. In a kind, gentle way that does not degrade me for not changing the highlighted items from last month. I believe strongly in my own self-esteem. 

Now before you start thinking this is going to be a philosophical post without the pictures from Christmas that I still have not put up, I would just like to say that it isn't going to be philosophical. Mainly because philosophy and I only have a nodding acquaintance. (All I remember from Phil 101 is that my professor was a Republican (one of a handful of Repubs on the UAA campus) and was once electrocuted across the room at three.) But it WILL be self-centered and pictureless. I blame other people/computers for the picturelessness.

Which brings me back to taking stock. One of my brother's favorite expression is "I'm a victim of circumstance!" And that is pretty much my motto. I can find 10 objects, inanimate or not to blame for any given situation that is less than desirable. A mature 30 year old should not be doing this. I am the captain of my own destiny and all that. I am an independent just about 30 years old American woman! Well, an independent woman dependent on her husband's income and children's mood to get anything done. (For the sake of argument and self-esteem, lets just say I am independent.) 

And then the other day I read another article about some young guy who paid off $26,000 in debt in two years. And this gets my ire up. Because I am a deal sort of person. I know how to be cheap on living expenses. I know how to get things you need cheaply. So now I feel like I need to pay off $26,000 in one year just to prove a point. (Don't worry, I will get over this next week. My children will not starve.)

In this spirit of being the captain (captain-ess?) of my own destiny and Mistriss of frugality, I declared my independence by going through my inbox, email by email and unsubscribing to all further emails. Then I went to facebook and un-liked all my friendly stores. Some of this un-attaching was pretty easy to do. During my coupon period, I liked a bajillion sites and signed up for countless emails in pursuit of some deal I didn't actually need at sites I didn't actually care about. But other sites were a bit more personal. Garnet Hill and I go way back to my eBay days. As do J Jill and I, Sierra Trading Post, Coldwater Creek, Gymboree, Gap, and Boden. I love these stores. And they loved me. Until I told them to stop talking to me. I am a marketing campaign's dream. I feel like these stores are some friendly being who needs my love and money. And I feel guilty about not buying things from flagging stores (if I tell JCPenny to go soak their heads, it will be the straw that will break the camels back. which will then close the St. Lawrence Centre. I mean, just look what happened to Borders!) 

But it is done. And now, I will not know who is having what sale when. No more 50% off site wide and free shipping. No 40% entire store. No Red Balloon sales. No Additional 35% off 11,000 items! I won't know each season's line from each individual store and recognize it at 10 paces. No more window shopping. No more finding the best deal. You may treat this lightly, but seriously, I am going to have to find a new hobby. Sewing is looking promising, due to the 7 rubbermaids full of fabric from JoAnn's, the fatquartershop, overtherainbow, and zandsfabrics. My window shopping wasn't strictly limited to clothes. Or to just window shopping..... 

Call it my one-third life crisis. It is a little unnerving. I think I will go do some mending. 

(I would like to point out before anyone else can that yes, I am seriously making a big deal out of dealing with junk email. My life is lacking in things to wax philosophical about.)