When I am talking to people, I say I am going back to work. But to be perfectly honest, I have never had a real job before. I worked on the farm through school. I was a nanny and library clerk in college. After getting married, I was a cashier at Fred Meyer's for a few months, and did housekeeping for a bed and breakfast some of our friends own for a few years. But I have never been closely associated with a semi professional job and regular hours. My siblings thoroughly enjoy talking about my job at Taco Bell, where I was fired before I even started. (It wasn't my fault! I had promised some friends to watch their kids while they flew down to California, so when Taco Bell told me I needed to start training before the kids got on the bus, I asked if I could come in half an hour later. They said nope. I said "See ya!" Sibling hilarity ensued.)
I feel rather grown up. And scared. Not of the job per se, just general scaredness. Of things changing, of leaving Elsie, of having a classroom of first graders looking at me blankly... Okay, I am sort of scared of the job. But the teacher is great and relaxed, so I am sure it will be lovely.
On the other hand, I am going to miss my Elsie morning snuggles. Our pointless, but fun five mile walks. My Hoyt and Abilene afternoons. My large stacks of library books. My internet news reading sessions. My unorganized I-can-just-do-that-tomorrow lifestyle. My kids running to me off the bus....
I have to grow up. And I don't want to.
This is the sort of thing I will be missing. Elsie, all on her own, being Elsie. She is on a Lion King kick--I think we have listened to the Disney book/tape thing 30 times the past two days. So she has to get her animals out to find the lion.
Her squinchy face.
I will miss this girl! But she will be staying home with Daddy, so she will be having a lovely time. (Justin will be doing leatherwork and truss design from home.)
And instead of kids running to me from the bus, they can run to me from the house. And see me in the halls during the day.
It will be nice. After I am over the adjusting.