Today, I am going to waste time talking about wasting time. For some reason I have been thinking a lot about all the time I waste. Like right now, I should be folding 4 loads of laundry, switching laundry, doing breakfast dishes, getting Gilbert dressed, and sorting through a whole basked full of paperwork. Instead, here I am telling you all about it. I am not rational. Or efficient. somehow, if I got all of that done before blogging, it wouldn't feel as time wasteful. Why is that? Must be something to do with Einstiens theory of relativity. I would like to think that my procrastination is actually closely connected to existential physics.
Every few weeks, months, days, I make new plans for staying to top of things. Things include, health, finances, weight, housework, and being a good mother. I generally make them around 10 PM. Then the next morning, I get up with a quickly diminishing resolve and contemplate implementing my very rational and efficient plans. Generally I contemplate from about 7 until 9 while eating peanut butter toast and checking on the world from my computer. From 9 to 10 I try to compensate for the fact that I have accomplished exactly nothing so far by doing a load of dishes and turning the washer on again for the load I forgot to switch yesterday afternoon. From 10 to 12 I feel mildly accomplished and feel justified in sitting down for just a minute to see what the weather will be, who updated their blog, and checking on when that bill is due. A minute generally morphs into an hour or two--once again probably has something to do with physics. Then from 12 to 1 I feed my hungry children and contemplate some more about what actually HAS to be done today. 1 to 2 is nap time, which occasionally stretches to 3. For the first half hour or so of this, I try to be quiet so Gilbert can go to sleep, so I get on the computer and check out money saving blogs to see if I need to go spend some money somewhere online so I can save a lot. Then I actually do something, like laundry or bill paying. Or sometimes I think about how much more productive I would be after supper if I took a wee nap or rested with a good book. And then I stop thinking and start sleeping or reading. Around 3, I panic because Justin will be home in about an hour and a half and the house is more of a mess then when he left this morning and I am no closer to having a plan for supper then when I woke up. I generally assuage this panic by playing the piano a bit, giving the kids a snack, and checking my email. Around 4, I wonder if Justin would like peanut butter toast for supper, since that is what I want. Around 4:30, I anticipate Justin's imminent arrival by scrambling around giving the impression of productivity and organization. I get some hamburger out of the freezer and suggest tacos. Or if it has been a particularly trying day of procrastination, I suggest nachos. After supper, 5 to 6 I do supper and lunch dishes (most of the time). Just as a side note, I would like to point out that I don't have a dishwasher, so it does take a little while to do dishes. 6 to 7 I make noises about the kids picking up toys and having a bath. 7 to 8, I get serious about getting the kids to bed and picking up toys so there will be no nighttime tripping when we go in to see who had a bad dream or needs a drink at 2:37 AM. From 8 to 9 I debate on whether I should go to sleep early or not. Around 9 I go to bed with or without a good book, which determines whether I actually go to bed early or not. As I fall asleep I start thinking up good plans for being more effiecient and productive tomorrow. Occasionally I remember the load of laundry and get up and switch it so I don't have to wash it again. Then I go to bed feeling mildly smug that I remembered, which is quickly dashed by realizing I should have done that about 4 or 5 hours earlier. Then a peaceful night of sleep with only occasional interruptions and we start the whole cycle over again!
Obviously I need a manager. I am a fully competent adult. I could accomplish a lot if I would only stay focused. Occasionally I do, which leaves me feeling accomplished and smug for a few days until things start to pile up again and I can get back into the comfortable familiarity of procrastination.
I better go. I am supposed to be having a compensative burst of activity right now.