June 27, 2011

Wasting Time

Today, I am going to waste time talking about wasting time. For some reason I have been thinking a lot about all the time I waste. Like right now, I should be folding 4 loads of laundry, switching laundry, doing breakfast dishes, getting Gilbert dressed, and sorting through a whole basked full of paperwork. Instead, here I am telling you all about it. I am not rational. Or efficient. somehow, if I got all of that done before blogging, it wouldn't feel as time wasteful. Why is that? Must be something to do with Einstiens theory of relativity. I would like to think that my procrastination is actually closely connected to existential physics.

Every few weeks, months, days, I make new plans for staying to top of things. Things include, health, finances, weight, housework, and being a good mother. I generally make them around 10 PM. Then the next morning, I get up with a quickly diminishing resolve and contemplate implementing my very rational and efficient plans. Generally I contemplate from about 7 until 9 while eating peanut butter toast and checking on the world from my computer. From 9 to 10 I try to compensate for the fact that I have accomplished exactly nothing so far by doing a load of dishes and turning the washer on again for the load I forgot to switch yesterday afternoon. From 10 to 12 I feel mildly accomplished and feel justified in sitting down for just a minute to see what the weather will be, who updated their blog, and checking on when that bill is due. A minute generally morphs into an hour or two--once again probably has something to do with physics. Then from 12 to 1 I feed my hungry children and contemplate some more about what actually HAS to be done today. 1 to 2 is nap time, which occasionally stretches to 3. For the first half hour or so of this, I try to be quiet so Gilbert can go to sleep, so I get on the computer and check out money saving blogs to see if I need to go spend some money somewhere online so I can save a lot. Then I actually do something, like laundry or bill paying. Or sometimes I think about how much more productive I would be after supper if I took a wee nap or rested with a good book. And then I stop thinking and start sleeping or reading. Around 3, I panic because Justin will be home in about an hour and a half and the house is more of a mess then when he left this morning and I am no closer to having a plan for supper then when I woke up. I generally assuage this panic by playing the piano a bit, giving the kids a snack, and checking my email. Around 4, I wonder if Justin would like peanut butter toast for supper, since that is what I want. Around 4:30, I anticipate Justin's imminent arrival by scrambling around giving the impression of productivity and organization.  I get some hamburger out of the freezer and suggest tacos. Or if it has been a particularly trying day of procrastination, I suggest nachos. After supper, 5 to 6 I do supper and lunch dishes (most of the time). Just as a side note, I would like to point out that I don't have a dishwasher, so it does take a little while to do dishes. 6 to 7 I make noises about the kids picking up toys and having a bath. 7 to 8, I get serious about getting the kids to bed and picking up toys so there will be no nighttime tripping when we go in to see who had a bad dream or needs a drink at 2:37 AM. From 8 to 9 I debate on whether I should go to sleep early or not. Around 9 I go to bed with or without a good book, which determines whether I actually go to bed early or not.  As I fall asleep I start thinking up good plans for being more effiecient and productive tomorrow. Occasionally I remember the load of laundry and get up and switch it so I don't have to wash it again. Then I go to bed feeling mildly smug that I remembered, which is quickly dashed by realizing I should have done that about 4 or 5 hours earlier. Then a peaceful night of sleep with only occasional interruptions and we start the whole cycle over again!

Obviously I need a manager. I am a fully competent adult. I could accomplish a lot if I would only stay focused. Occasionally I do, which leaves me feeling accomplished and smug for a few days until things start to pile up again and I can get back into the comfortable familiarity of procrastination.

I better go. I am supposed to be having a compensative burst of activity right now.


Virginia said...

Tell me about it! I still have yet to unpack from the beach, let alone my road trip. My apartment hasn't been scrubbed and vaccummed since March. I've been putting of a job application (of a job I really want!) for 3 weeks now and it's due on Thursday. But I'm not sure what I do w/ my time b/c it's not like I'm reading mountains of books or sewing anything or watching movies I'd love to watch. I'm w/ you on the existential physics theory. There's no other explanation.

Evan and Clover and Co. said...

You have perfectly captured the giant time-suck that being a stay-at-home-mom of small children is. Well, a stay-at-home-mom with internet access, that is! This post actually made me LOL. (But not the other bad one that is NOT meaning "fat".)

Cari said...

Wow....we are like twins...on opposite sides of the country....3 hrs after you I am doing the same things!!