These are the days, my friends...

Oh, early summer. (Technically, late spring, but calendars never quite know what they are talking about. We are definitely trending summer ward.) It was 84 here on Monday. H-O-T. Which means summer. I had forgotten how hot weather can get me down. It isn't any one thing, but by the end of a hot day, I have had it. My patience is worn tissue paper thin and the least provocation produces an exaggerated over reaction. (This has some validity actually. People are scientifically proven to get cranky in hot weather. A recent Smithsonian magazine had an article about how global warming will affect humanity, and one of the focuses was on the fact that people are more disagreeable and prone to anger in hot weather. Global warming as an excuse for homicide? "It's not my fault! Carbon emissions made me do it!") Monday night, in an incidence involving throwing sand, forced baths, splashing covering the bathroom, poop in said bath, dripping kids waiting for bath to drain, get disinfected, and refill, and then aggravating laughs about the hilarity of poop in the tub, I threw a hissy fit. Yelling, threats, tears and all the while, a little voice in the back of my mind was saying "Calm down, you are just hot." Then I apologized for my disproportionate anger, carried on, and burst into tears when Justin came home. Wails of "I am such a bad mother!!!" and other self reproaches met him at the door. The kids all rallied round, hugging me and telling me it was okay, which made me feel even worse. They are such good kids and I lose my temper just because they are acting like the little kids they are. Sob,sob.

In these moments, when I lose my temper, I feel like all the potentially good ground work I have laid for the past eight years of being a mother has been destroyed. All the "Calm down!"s, the "Don't just yell because you are mad."s, the lessons on patience have all been totally invalidated. I have ruined my kids childhoods. They will only remember me as that yelling harridan who never practiced what she preached. 

And then, I remember days when I didn't lose my temper. When I was patient. When I put my kids first. When I did fun things with them. And loved them totally and without reserve. And I hope those are the days that my kids remember. Maybe by some stroke of luck, my burst of temper will just be filed away and lost in a backlog of "times Mom was irritated." 

 Thankfully, I do not have a photographer following me around, taking pictures of all the times throughout the day I fall short of being the perfect mother. But I do take pictures of those times that I love best. That I want to remember of my kids childhood. 

This was last Sunday. On the farm. These are the days I hope they will remember.

Cody took it into his head to hang a tire swing. A long process ensued. 

Not to brag, but it was my clever husband who thought up the winning combination that got it over the branch.

Trying to work the rope up the branch so it wouldn't slide off.

A girl and her baby

First swing. Yes, Owen did kick the daylights out of that table and upset Tori's plants.

Gilbert didn't want to go alone

Weird Uncle Cody

Gilbert worked up his courage to go alone.

Mommy and Elsie, fascinated by my big toe apparently.

Summer time

Walking up to Owen and Ashley's to pick Lilacs

There is something about clouds this time of year that is different than any other time of year. Big, fat, puffy ones. 

Maple Canopy

Skywards

Kids, doing kid things

The lilac bush

A skeptical Elsie June

Sweet Lily girl

A great example of kid photography. Not a one of them is actually looking at me. 

Homeward

Blue eyed grass

Daddy and his girls

Palsie-walsies

Love this picture

The length of the tire swing

Heading up with the girls to pick apple blossoms

Apple blossoms. Happy sigh. I once was determined to name my daughter Blossom. When I was 8. 

Spring time farm

Then we took the kids down to the creek for some wading, minnow watching, dam building, bull frog chasing, and tadpole catching.

Gilbert. Thrilled to bits to be calf deep in mud

Elsie exploring

Hard to see, but this is a croaky bullfrog

Scheming Gilbert

Perching Lily

Splash

Gilbert dictating to the dogs

Love this picture

Haha! Gilbert is wildly happy to be on that stump.

A serious nephew-uncle heart to heart.

Owen came down to show how easy it is to catch minnows in a jar. (Or in this case, a sap bucket) Ha!

Justin was building the kids a dam

My sweet little Orianna

Minnows were rather thin on the ground this year, but they did manage a tadpole.

Getting a thistle out of her foot. 

The results of our day--a lot of flowers.

Which we brought home. 

To admire while we ate ice cream.