In these moments, when I lose my temper, I feel like all the potentially good ground work I have laid for the past eight years of being a mother has been destroyed. All the "Calm down!"s, the "Don't just yell because you are mad."s, the lessons on patience have all been totally invalidated. I have ruined my kids childhoods. They will only remember me as that yelling harridan who never practiced what she preached.
And then, I remember days when I didn't lose my temper. When I was patient. When I put my kids first. When I did fun things with them. And loved them totally and without reserve. And I hope those are the days that my kids remember. Maybe by some stroke of luck, my burst of temper will just be filed away and lost in a backlog of "times Mom was irritated."
Thankfully, I do not have a photographer following me around, taking pictures of all the times throughout the day I fall short of being the perfect mother. But I do take pictures of those times that I love best. That I want to remember of my kids childhood.
This was last Sunday. On the farm. These are the days I hope they will remember.
Cody took it into his head to hang a tire swing. A long process ensued.
Not to brag, but it was my clever husband who thought up the winning combination that got it over the branch.
Trying to work the rope up the branch so it wouldn't slide off.
A girl and her baby
First swing. Yes, Owen did kick the daylights out of that table and upset Tori's plants.
Gilbert didn't want to go alone
Weird Uncle Cody
Gilbert worked up his courage to go alone.
Mommy and Elsie, fascinated by my big toe apparently.
Walking up to Owen and Ashley's to pick Lilacs
There is something about clouds this time of year that is different than any other time of year. Big, fat, puffy ones.
Kids, doing kid things
The lilac bush
A skeptical Elsie June
Sweet Lily girl
A great example of kid photography. Not a one of them is actually looking at me.
Blue eyed grass
Daddy and his girls
Love this picture
The length of the tire swing
Heading up with the girls to pick apple blossoms
Apple blossoms. Happy sigh. I once was determined to name my daughter Blossom. When I was 8.
Spring time farm
Then we took the kids down to the creek for some wading, minnow watching, dam building, bull frog chasing, and tadpole catching.
Gilbert. Thrilled to bits to be calf deep in mud
Hard to see, but this is a croaky bullfrog
Gilbert dictating to the dogs
Love this picture
Haha! Gilbert is wildly happy to be on that stump.
A serious nephew-uncle heart to heart.
Owen came down to show how easy it is to catch minnows in a jar. (Or in this case, a sap bucket) Ha!
Justin was building the kids a dam
My sweet little Orianna
Minnows were rather thin on the ground this year, but they did manage a tadpole.
Getting a thistle out of her foot.
The results of our day--a lot of flowers.
Which we brought home.
To admire while we ate ice cream.