May 1, 2013

The goodness of life

Today, I had three appointments. That makes today one of the busiest days in the past couple months. (Appointment wise that is. Really, despite the fact that I am a stay at home mom, days have a way of being busy.) Lindsey offered to come along and watch the kids. She is pretty great.

Anyway, one of these appointments was to check a lump in my breast. I felt it Sunday night. Add a twinge here, a pain there, a few headaches, and a little dizziness, stir together with a generous dose of hypochondria, and in five seconds, I had three months to live. Monday morning, Lindsey and Mom soothed my rabid worries about how to tell my children they would be motherless by informing me that 80% of all breast lumps are innocent. And of the 20% that are cancerous, only a small percentage are the you-have-three-months-to-live kind. (I like medical facts.) But laying in the ultrasound room, staring at the ceiling tiles while the radiologist went to confer with the doctor, I was still worrying and fretting. There is still that chance. And what if?

But the what if has been put off. The doctor would like to follow up in three months to make sure it is nothing. I am part of the lucky 80%.

All this made me think about what would I regret not doing with my life. Obviously, I regret spending too much time on the things that didn't matter and not enough time on the things that do matter. (This is a given. I don't think there would ever be anyone who would feel they spent too much time on the things that mattered.) Surprisingly, one of the things that popped into my head after this was "I regret not laying in a shady hammock on a summer day reading a book." Seriously. No regrets about not running a marathon, climbing Everest, making a difference in a third world country, or visiting every continent. I just wish I had a hammock.

Sometimes I wonder about my depth of being, or lack thereof.

And I also wonder where I could find two perfectly spaced trees to hang a hammock.... Will have to make this a prerequisite for any house we buy. "I am sorry. It really is perfect, but your trees are not properly spaced...."

Now, it is a gorgeous spring day. Blue skies. Puffy clouds. Tiny yellow-green leaves. A sleeping boy-o. A wiggling baby.

Oh joyous life!

 And here are some pictures of said life.

Exploring grass for the first time. 

Ooh! a leaf!


What to do with a leaf?

Tear it...

Drop it....

Contemplate it...

...and eat it.

This is a new favorite toy with all the kids. You press the piano key and the corresponding animal will pop out of the organ pipe. Delightful. 


Morning light

Sunbathing and Aunt Tori

Walking to pick up trash on Earth Day

Livie and Tori

Gilbert and his bag of trash

Gilbert being a dog

Owen and Lindsey picking rocks

Lindsey had Gilbert tucked behind her. He was so  happy about it all.

This picture makes me laugh. Lindsey toting a little Owen around in her bucket. 

Gilbert really likes Lindsey.


Sheena said...

We have 2 lovely hammocks, and not a tree within 5 miles to put them on!

laura said...

I had the same scare myself - I was already thinking of what I wanted to do with my last 3 months before I even got on the table. Ay yi yi... Glad to hear you're well! (:

Evan and Clover and Co. said...

I like the Bubbly Baby. And all the pictures. You should buy land down here-- lots of trees!