Grandma Cotten

Last week, Grandma Cotten was laid to rest. She had Alzheimer's and hadn't recognized anyone for a good long while. In our minds, we all knew it was time for her. Grandma Cotten had already been taken by the disease. But our hearts are still lonesome for her. For the Nola Bell we had known and loved.  

When Justin and I got married, he brought 6 grandparents, between greats and regular grandparents, to the marriage. I brought zero, since my last grandparent died when I was 9. Fortunately for me, Justin was willing to share his largess and I became a granddaughter at 20.

I lucked out--all his grandparents were terrific and loving and willing to share their love with me. Two years after we were married, we moved down to Colorado and I got to know Grandma Cotten much better. 

She was loving, caring so deeply about her kids and grandkids (and their spouses and kids!) and was always thrilled that you were there so she could lavish love (in the form of cinnamon rolls and slippers) on you. 

She was generous, willing to cook a meal for anyone or help out where ever was needed at the drop of a hat without complaint or fuss. 

She was fun, almost always ready to tease or joke or laugh with one of her precious kids or grandkids.

She was busy, knitting, cooking, cleaning. She never just sat around and stared. I remember her breaking her leg and how difficult it was for her to just sit around and be waited upon. She was the one who did the waiting, not the other way around. 

She was faithful, maintaining a trust and relationship with God that carried her through a lot of difficult situations in life. Even when Alzheimer's had a stranglehold on her mind, but hadn't taken it completely, she would still perk up when the hymns were sung. She carefully tended that relationship while she was able and there was no doubt to any of us what was most precious to her. 

She had expectations. While she was loving and generous, she also wanted the best for her family. She wanted them to do their best, be their best, and act their best. And her love for her made you want to meet those expectations. Motivation.

Grandma loved her kitchen. Grandpa built it for her with a baking center, nice big island for family to gather around, and roses everywhere. She never turned away help, enjoying the company. 

A kitchen full of family

Grandma and Grandpa loved each other through and through. Grandpa had a strong personality and definite ideas about things. He didn't hesitate to be open and honest about those ideas with others, and if he thought an idea was the right thing to do, he did it. Sometimes, those ideas might not have been 100% Grandma's idea of what to do, but she didn't complain. She was a proud to be Danny Cotten's wife and wanted to be the best wife she could be. 

And Grandpa Cotten loved her devotedly right back. 

While I was thinking about writing this, I searched my brain for words of wisdom from Grandma or times that we had heart to heart conversations. Unforntunately, I don't remember a lot. I have a terrible memory, but also, much of the time we spent together was while other people were around as well. We Cottens tend to congregate in groups. 

However, I do remember one weekend Justin and I spent at their house. It was very low-key, I don't think we anyone else stopped by or came over. Grandpa and Justin went off to do things outside and Grandma and I spent the day together. We talked about all kinds of things--recipes, kitchen gadgets, friends, family, being a wife, and God. I don't remember the words we said due to that faulty memory of mine, but I remember the feeling I had--encouraged, inspired, and loved. I was still young with some silly ideas, but even while she didn't agree with me, she never made me feel silly. She always pointed me back to the most important things--doing what is right before God, being a good wife, and loving others. 

Sometimes I wonder if we knew the real Grandma. She never put her opinions or needs out there as necessary for public consumption.  How she felt about something wasn't really the point to her. 

She did what needed to be done and didn't waste time on alternate possibilities. 

(I LOVE this picture of her loving Gilbert.)

This is Aunt Cari and Grandma. At this point, Grandma was starting to be very affected by Alzhemeirs. I think you can see it in her smile. If  you look at the picture of her with Gilbert above this, her smile is just that much more. She was happy in this picture, but she couldn't really make perfect sense of what was going on around her and you can see a little of that confusion and the resulting mental exhaustion from trying to make sense of things. 

One thing we are all so thankful for is the love she had at the end of her life from Mick and Dawna. She lived with them and they made sure she was able to do as much as she could while she was able. 

And when she wasn't able for much, they were right there surrounding her with love and care. 

I think it was hard for Grandpa to adjust to being the caregiver when Grandma had been the one to care for him for all those years, but he tried. 

And through it all, he loved her still. 

One thing about loving other people lavishly, you often get that love returned to you tenfold. 

Grandma was loved. 

It is hard to think of both of them being gone. These two faithful, loving people who I had the fortune to love and be loved by for a few short years. 

I am so lucky. 

A house that once was, but now isn't a home.

There is a kids book with that title--The House that Once Was. It is a lyrical and sweet book. Check it out on my book blog today if you want to know all my thoughts and feelings on it. 

Anyway, that phrase has been going through my mind a lot lately as we were in the middle of moving out of and selling our little house. 

As ridiculous as this is, I can't find a picture of the front of our little house. So I am putting up one our real estate agent took. 

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I think part of the reason I loved this house so is that it reminded me of that book, The Little House that was my absolute favorite when I was a kid

Okay, okay, it might not be an exact replica, but it sort of looks like it. And this book anthropomorphizes houses. This little house is happy, curious, lonely, overwhelmed, sad, and then relieved by turns. 

Houses have feelings!

And I have feelings about houses. 

I didn't find pictures of the front of the house, but I found a lot of pictures of the inside that Gilbert took when he occasionally steals my camera. 

These aren't stellar pictures, but they are pictures of our house, full of life. And Gilbert's fingers.

We had a lot of fun in this house. I mean, there was plenty of not so fun times, but overall, life was pretty grand. 

There were a lot of sunrises and sunsets

And even a lunar eclipse this spring!

After reading books that gave houses generous doses of feelings, I had severe pangs about selling this house that had been so faithful and sheltering to us for all those years. How could we just walk out and leave it? It would miss us and all our noise and confusion! It was cruelty! 

Moving out was done very quickly and efficiently. We had a large team of super awesome people who got the job done lickety-split. I didn't manage to take many pictures because things were a little busy, but here is a picture of them moving the piano. And people who are willing to help you move a piano are people you should work hard at keeping in your life because that kind of person is somewhat rare in this world. To be fair, I probably know several other people who would have helped if they were around. But here is Dale, Dan, and Owen helping Justin get the piano out the front door. 

After all the fuss and bother of sorting, packing, moving, and settling in, the reality of leaving our dear little house became a little more real. I didn't want to acknowledge this reality, so I pretended it wasn't happening. Our closing was delayed several times due to clerical errors, so I didn't have to really face it too much. Then came the day of the buyer's final walk through. And while the sentimental me didn't want to sell it, the practical me, who is fully aware of the fact that we have a new foundation to build on and building upon it requires money, wanted the final walk through to go well. So I went over to check on the house and tidy up the flower beds for fall for the last time ever. I cried a lot the night before. Okay, I full on sobbed. I felt like I was losing a friend who saw me at my worst and maybe my best and still was stoically just there for me. But then, after saying tragic goodbyes to all the plants I planted, loved and tended for almost a decade, (Wah!!) I went inside. 

And there it was. And it was still a dear little house. But it wasn't ours anymore. it was a house that once was, but now isn't a home. 

I will still be sentimental about this house. The first house we ever owned and the house that saw so many milestones and life events. But I have a level of detachment about it. Because once you take out the things and the people, it stops being the same dear friend and just becomes cabinets, floors, and windows, and walls. 

(Side note--Do you ever think about the useless knowledge we accumulate in life? Just looking at this picture, I remember the feel of opening the different cabinets and where things go and just the right angle for the perfect temperature of water for washing dishes. I will never need to know those things again. But my brain will likely hold on to them for a good while. Maybe forever. The things we carry with us.) 

So goodbye sweet little yellow house. You loved us well. 

Palmer

Another Alaska post!  

We went to Palmer to meet some friends for the Friday fair and went to the Palmer visitor center. Which has a lovely garden.

LOVE THIS FLOWER. Not sure what it is. 

We had sunshine today for the first time in weeks (seemingly) and looking at these pictures of flowers makes me long for brightness. 

Inside the visitor's center is a display of various things. 

I forget what these gloves and slippers signify. I feel like they were a gift to Alaska from someone. But I could be wrong. 

Miners

There was also a display about the Palmer Colony. During the Great Depression, Roosevelt encouraged people from Michigan, Wisconsin, and Minnesota who were out of work and on relief to volunteer to go settle Alaska. 

The New Deal paid the families' fare to Alaska via trains to Seattle and then a ship from there. 

Before the colonists arrived, Palmer was not really a town, just had a few sparsely spaced old-timers. 

Teaching school when they first got to Alaska. 

Hilltop Homemaker's Club

They had vintage clothes for dressing up

Orianna in a fancy hat. 

The Butte 4-H Club. 

The Lila Peterson in the front is a good friend of ours. She still lives in the Butte, going strong at.... 94 I think it is. 

We went to Lila's and her son Dave's for supper the Sunday before we left. We used to go to meeting at her and her husband's house. They have a really special testimony. Lila professed from the time she was young, but her husband, Fritz did not. When they got older, Lila's eyesight went. Since reading the bible was important to Lila and Fritz loved her, he read to her every morning and evening. Eventually Fritz started coming to meetings and professed. And then Lila's sight came back. Fritz passed away a few years back, but such a special couple with an open home. 

Cute little 1930's homemakers

The Palmer Colony is pretty interesting. There is a kids book about it.  

Pretty good book! 

I read it out loud to the kids while we were in Alaska, so we asked Lila about it. Her mind is still sharp as a tack, so she told the kids about it, about turning 9 the day the train pulled into Seward after the boat trip. 

Feed sacks

Elsie and Gilbert loved the Balto statue

Looking toward the Butte

The  historic train track in Palmer that clearly isn't used any longer.  This is where the colonists would have arrived when they got to Alaska. 

Driving to our friends house from Palmer, up toward Hatcher's Pass

The kids and Isabel

The girls had such a nice time with Isabel. 

A fuzzy picture, but love this one of Isabel!

Driving back into Anchorage from the Valley this summer, we frequently saw a plane flying this Geico ad. We were all interested since we don't see airplane advertising very frequently. I was intrigued about how this was at all cost effective. Lindsey said it was probably a beginning pilot who is willing to do it practically free just so they can accumulate hours toward getting their commercial licence.